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This is How Bullying Could Affect Your Child’s Self-esteem

I was hurt, I was in pain, I was shattered.

What I had endured from the age of 10 to 14 years old had left deep emotional wounds that would not heal. It was easier to numb the pain by suppressing it and seeking other unhealthy ways of coping. The subconscious mind is a powerful thing. It controls our thoughts, feelings, and resulting behaviors. As much as I try to hide, ignore, or deny the pain of bullying, it is always there stored away in the subconscious part of my mind.

When it started I didn’t realize it really started.

bullying affect self-esteem

As a young child, I remember desperately wanting to be liked and accepted by my peers. At 10, I was at an impressionable age trying to discover who I was and where I fit in. The bullying I experienced was what many refer to as friendship bullying. Every friend I thought I had, at some point turned on me in a very vicious way through verbal, physical, and social bullying. They were the popular girls, and had a lot of social influence and power. As a result, when the bullying started, I had no one. When they turned on me, the entire school either participated in the bullying or stood by and did nothing.

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During the 80’s bullying was not taken seriously and was not even recognized as an issue that needed attention. It was considered a rite of passage and so, I had no support from the school or the teachers. I was alone. It was the single most painful experience of my life. The shame left me feeling unworthy of love and acceptance

My Self-esteem. My Thoughts. My Feelings. My Actions.

When we are bullied and continually beaten down with fists, words or through social humiliation, there is a cause and effect reaction that occurs. Our experience will begin to change the thoughts we consciously have about ourselves. Those thoughts then create feelings that are stored within our subconscious and ultimately determine our actions and behaviors. I’ll use my own experience to illustrate how Self-Esteem (thoughts about ourselves) trigger our feelings or emotions, that then result in our actions or behaviours.

The physical, verbal, and social bullying that I was subjected to for a period of over three years led to the following thoughts, feelings and actions.

My Thoughts

“No one likes me or cares about me.”

“Nothing good will ever happen to me.” 

“There’s something wrong with me.” 

“I’m not good enough.”

“I wish I was someone else.”

My Feelings 

Loneliness, hopelessness, anger, fear, self-consciousness, insecurity, and paranoia.

My Actions / Behaviors

I would criticise and gossip negatively about others to feel better about myself. I became outwardly aggressive towards others to feel powerful. I sought any form of attention that made me feel loved and accepted. I avoided social situations or new experiences so I wouldn’t feel inadequate or scared. I married and stayed with an alcoholic because I believed I didn’t deserve any better. I became a perfectionist at work because it gave me a false sense of worth and value. I always anticipated and thought the worst of every situation to protect myself from feeling disappointed or hurt. 

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The list goes on. Of course not everyone who is bullied will experience low self-esteem or have the same thoughts, feelings and behaviors. There are other factors that contribute to the severity of damage on ones sense of worth from bullying.  For example, support from schools and teachers, a child’s home environment, their resilience, and the duration of the abuse has a direct link to the severity of the effect.

In my case, I did not have the support of anyone and the duration was over a period of three years. My behaviours were clearly destructive and part of a cycle that created more feelings of guilt, resentment, fear, and sadness. In the process, I deprived myself of joy and happiness. I became someone I didn’t want to be, someone controlled by their emotions.

The longer we suffer from low self-esteem, the more habitual our thought patterns become and the more difficult it is to alter or change our behaviors. The good news is, we consciously choose our thoughts about ourselves. This is our “Self-Talk”.  We can choose to belittle and degrade ourselves, or we can be loving and accepting of who we are.

What can you do to help?

Do you know a child or an adult suffering from bullying? It is critical to understand a few factors if you want to help them.

1. Often it is the devastating shame they feel that keeps targets of bullying from talking about the emotional trauma.

2. Healing can only begin when we talk about the shame. To prevent possible long term mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, one must often relive the painful trauma and talk openly about how they are feeling. This should be done in a safe, trusting environment with a professional who understands the issue of bullying.

3. As parents and care givers we must have a heightened awareness of the bullying epidemic. Know the signs and if you suspect someone you care for is being bullied seek help.

4. We must never underestimate or minimize the profound effect bullying can have on one’s self-esteem and how that lack of self-esteem can drive unhealthy behaviours.

5. If you or someone you know is suffering from the residual effects of bullying please reach out for help.

Read 10 things every parent needs to know to protect their children from bullying to know more about how you can prevent, support and protect a child.

Share this article with your friends and colleagues, so that they too are aware of this amidst their busy schedules. 

Do you have any insights or tips that you use? Would you like to share that? Please use the comments section below and let us know!

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The Kidz Parade Magazine 

Are you looking for a special present for an adorable child? Why don’t you give a present that will leave a lifetime positive impact? When you give The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine as a present, you are opening the door to a world of Creativity and Communication. NEW POSTER 6 copy

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About Angela Fryklund

Angela Fryklund is the founder of Beyond Bullying Recovery Services, Ontario, Canada. She works with people who want to recover from the emotional effects of bullying and to restore their self-worth. She is also a speaker and speaks to youth on the potential long-term mental health issues related to bullying by sharing her own personal story. Angela is a certified professional coach with the Certified Coaches Federation of Canada and also with the John Maxwell Team.

Who will Stop the Bullying?

Many people ask, “How can I stop the bullying when I am a bystander to bullying?”

UPTV did a social experiment to understand the behaviour of bystanders. They placed three teenage girls to enact a bullying scenario at a public place.

The two bullies in the video start with “Do you have any friends at all?” and go on to act mean by verbally abusing the third girl like, “Did you audition for the musical? People told me you sounded like a dying pig.”

Slowly passers-by intervene. One man showed a kind gesture of playing a harmonica to the victim.

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One of the bullies tell the victim in the video, “You definitely do need make up”. A woman replies, “No, she do not”.

The girls go on to say, “Everyone at school think you are a freak because you read all the time”. A security guard waiting for the bus tells the girls, “Don’t mess with her” and goes on to tell the victim, “You keep reading”.

Many people tried to help her by inviting her to go and sit next to her and to offer to sit next to her in the bus.

One in three children get bullied

That is an alarming number. Should the bystanders remain silent? Who will stop the bullying? It is all of us. By taking small, seemingly insignificant actions, we can collectively make a difference in the lives of today’s children and tomorrow’s adults. Are you ready for that?

Do you want to make others also a part of the fight against bullying? You can do a lot to stop the bullying. 

Share this post with your friends, colleagues and loved ones.

Do you have any tip on how to curb bullying? Send us a comment below.

 

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The Kidz Parade Magazine 

Are you looking for a special present for an adorable child? Why don’t you give a present that will leave a lifetime positive impact? When you give The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine as a present, you are opening the door to a world of Creativity and Communication. NEW POSTER 6 copy

Public Speaking Camp

public speaking for children Singapore

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Junior Champs Leadership Camp

 Junior Champs Leadership Camp

Public Speaking for children

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Public Speaking Camp

About Sindu Sreebhavan

Sindu Sreebhavan is the founder of As Many Minds Minds Pte Ltd and the chief editor of The Kidz Parade Edutainment magazine, Asia's premium publication for cultivating creativity and creative writing in children. Sindu is also the founder of International Youth Leadership and Innovation Forum (IYLIF). With a passion to infuse innovation in education and inject innovative mindset in people, Sindu writes, speaks and consults on innovation and creativity in business and education. She says innovation does not start with invention, it starts with a mindset. “The best gift you can give a child is the power of Confidence, Creativity and Communication” is her tagline. She is passionate about educating educators, parents and children about youth development, youth leadership, education innovation and 21st century education. She supports children, parents, schools and several organisations in these areas.

Is a Nagging Mom the Key to the Success of a Teenager?

Are you a little tough with your adolescent daughter? Does your daughter say you are a nagging mom? Do you feel guilty about being a pushy mom? May be it is time not to feel guilty about it, at least that is what science says.

As per a study conducted by the University of Essex in UK, teenage girls with nagging moms are more likely to be successful in life compared to those with less nagging moms.

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The research team studied the lives of 15,500 girls between the ages 13 and 14 years for six years, from 2004 to 2010. As per the study, high expectations set by mothers tend to increase the standards the teenagers set for themselves. In fact, the study lists the following benefits of being a nagging mom.

5 benefits to the teenager with a nagging mom

  1. Lesser chance of teenage motherhood. The chance of teenage pregnancy decreases by four per cent.
  2. Higher chances of going to university.
  3. Higher chances of getting a job and remain well paid.
  4. Higher chances of partnering with successful men.
  5. Higher chances of getting involved in activities outside their comfort zones.

Now, do you know what to tell your teenage daughter when she complains you are a nagging mom?

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Share this article with your friends and colleagues, so that they too are aware of this amidst their busy schedules. 

Do you have any insights or tips that you use? Would you like to share that? Please use the comments section below and let us know!

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The Kidz Parade Magazine 

Are you looking for a special present for an adorable child? Why don’t you give a present that will leave a lifetime positive impact? When you give The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine as a present, you are opening the door to a world of Creativity and Communication. NEW POSTER 6 copy

Public Speaking Camp

public speaking for children Singapore

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Junior Champs Leadership Camp

 Junior Champs Leadership Camp

Public Speaking for children

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Public Speaking Camp

About Sindu Sreebhavan

Sindu Sreebhavan is the founder of As Many Minds Minds Pte Ltd and the chief editor of The Kidz Parade Edutainment magazine, Asia's premium publication for cultivating creativity and creative writing in children. Sindu is also the founder of International Youth Leadership and Innovation Forum (IYLIF). With a passion to infuse innovation in education and inject innovative mindset in people, Sindu writes, speaks and consults on innovation and creativity in business and education. She says innovation does not start with invention, it starts with a mindset. “The best gift you can give a child is the power of Confidence, Creativity and Communication” is her tagline. She is passionate about educating educators, parents and children about youth development, youth leadership, education innovation and 21st century education. She supports children, parents, schools and several organisations in these areas.

Are you wondering how to keep your child’s screen time more productive? You are not alone. Many of us are with you. Is your child hooked on to fun Apps? What if the Apps can provide some fun learning opportunities? We have picked our favorite fun educational games on Math and programming for your teens and tweens. These Apps not only help reinforcing the learning from the classroom but also are great aids to engage the kids during school holidays.

1. SMART Adventures Mission Math – Peril at the Pyramids

fun educational games

Set among the pyramids of Egypt, this game makes use of your child’s Math skills to solve a mystery. Kids will play a set of fun and interactive games with various difficulty levels to sove the mystery. It reinforces many math skills that the kids learn at school.

Age – 9 to 11 year olds

Smart Adventures

2. My Robot Friend

fun educational games

This is a great game that comes with lots of brainteasers that helps your child to pick up programming skills, logic and reasoning. As the name suggests, there is a “robot friend” in it. Your child can redesign the appearance of the robot by making use of the 200 different options available in the game.

Age – 9 to 12 year olds

My Robot Friend

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3. Questimate

fun educational games

This is an incredibly interactive game where kids take the role of question makers as well as solvers. The kids are invoved in making word problems and estimating answers. A unique game to practice estimation firsthand.

Age – 9 to 16 year olds

Questimate

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4. Cargo-bot

fun educational games

Programming concepts in general are a bit difficult for a novice to understand. This game inspires your child to think like a programmer. It is a puzzle game that challenges your child’s brain and teach them the concepts of programming. It asks your child to direct a robotic arm to a particular location. The best thing about this game is it makes programming look fun. It is challenging, but nevertheless fun for your child.

Age – 8 to 16 year olds

Cargo-bot

5. Marble Math

fun educational games

Your child can practice Math by dragging through a series of mazes. This is a fun game to reinforce mathematical concepts. The customization options available in the game makes it more impressive.

Age – 9 to 12+ year olds

Marble Math

Share this article with your friends and colleagues, so that they too are aware of this amidst their busy schedules. 

Do you have any insights or tips that you use? Would you like to share that? Please use the comments section below and let us know!

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Public Speaking for children Singapore

The Kidz Parade Magazine 

Are you looking for a special present for an adorable child? Why don’t you give a present that will leave a lifetime positive impact? When you give The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine as a present, you are opening the door to a world of Creativity and Communication. NEW POSTER 6 copy

Public Speaking Camp

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You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Junior Champs Leadership Camp

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About AMM Research

As Many Minds Research Team www.AsManyMinds.com

“I do not know what to do. His exam scores are appalling. But, I can’t blame him. My poor child… he puts his heart and soul into his studies. But, he finds it difficult to concentrate and recall all that he had studied. He was not like this before. Is it a behavioral problem?” Catherine (name changed for this article) could not stop worrying as John’s (name changed for this article) exam dates were approaching.

Catherine was relieved when she came to know that there could be reasons other than psychological issues for John’s problems.

John was the typical ‘king of junk food’ guy. He always had a love for french fries, cola, and donuts. In the past, Catherine used to control his intake of junk food. But, for the past few months, Catherine had been a bit relaxed on these. But, it had taken a toll on John’s health. In fact, that was the cause for the memory issues he was facing.

Catherine made a conscious effort to enrich John’s diet with some of the ‘Brain Foods’ I had incorporated in his diet plan. The positive result of it undoubtedly reflected in John’s better academic performance, and increased energy levels and brainpower.

It is well established that nutrition and learning go hand in hand. If you include the following food items which I like to call ‘Brain Foods’ in your child’s diet, it could result in a positive effect on their brain development and memory functioning.

1. Avocados

5 Brain Foods you must include in your child's diet

Monounsaturated fatty acids in this fruit help proper brain functioning. Have it in the form of a shake or as a dip mixed with vegetables.

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2. Blueberries

5 Brain Foods you must include in your child's diet

Diets rich in blueberries help improve learning capacity and motor skills. If your child does not like the taste, give it to them fresh with yoghurt, as frozen pops or as candies by freeze-drying.

3. Lentils and Beans

5 Brain Foods you must include in your child's diet

Folate in lentils and beans help to increase brainpower. You can give about 100gms of cooked beans a day to your child.

4. Oatmeal

5 Brain Foods you must include in your child's diet

Oatmeal is not just a healthy morning cereal; this also helps in improving memory power. Have it as a breakfast cereal with hot or cold milk.

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5. Nuts and Seeds

5 Brain Foods you must include in your child's diet

Nuts and seeds are tasty and at the same time they help in brain development. Add an ounce of walnuts, hazelnuts, almonds, cashews, peanuts, sesame seeds, sunflower seeds or flaxseeds to your child’s everyday diet.

Catherine made small changes in John’s consciously. Gradually he changed from a ‘king of junk foods’ to a ‘king of brain foods’. His grades started improving and he became more confident of himself and his abilities. Is your child a ’emperor of junk foods’ or an ’emperor of brain foods’?

 (This article first appeared in The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine)

Share this article with your friends and colleagues, so that they too are aware of this amidst their busy schedules. 

Do you have any insights or tips that you use? Would you like to share that? Please use the comments section below and let us know!

Junior Public Speaking & Confidence Building Workshop

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The Kidz Parade Magazine 

Are you looking for a special present for an adorable child? Why don’t you give a present that will leave a lifetime positive impact? When you give The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine as a present, you are opening the door to a world of Creativity and Communication. NEW POSTER 6 copy

Public Speaking Camp

public speaking for children Singapore

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Junior Champs Leadership Camp

 Junior Champs Leadership Camp

Public Speaking for children

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Public Speaking Camp

 

About Ujjwala Baxi

Ujjwala Baxi is a Registered Dietitian, Certified Diabetes Educator and a Medical Nutrition Therapist with an experience of 10 years. She provides diet consultations, helping her clients to attain their health goal in the most practical and affordable ways to create lasting results. She is actively involved in creating health awareness through her various workshops for children as well as adults. She is a Health Promotion Board Ambassador and founder of Poshan - Cure thru Diet. In the past, she has worked as a Research Dietitian at B.Y.L Nair hospital and as Chief Dietitian at K.J. Somaiya hospital, Mumbai.

Public Speaking for Children: Top 9 Myths

Whether your child is in primary school or secondary school, whether in local school or international school, one thing is certain: they will be called upon to do presentations in front of others. In fact, effective public speaking for children is a topic being studied by many experts. Effective public speaking is a crucial skill that is often overlooked in the formative years of a child. However, there are many myths of public speaking that hinder the development of this skill in children.

Many parents are concerned that their children are losing out opportunities at school, in internships, university admission interviews, job interviews and many other important junctions in their lives because the kids are not able to convey the messages effectively. However, this is a skill that can influence the self-awareness of a child. So, parents are taking initiatives to impart this important skill to their children.

If you are interested in developing public speaking skill in your child, it is important for you to understand the myths around it. Knowing the right areas to focus on will help you in preparing your child to take on many challenges in their lives.

1. “That child is a good communicator because he/she talks a lot”.

Nothing can be farther from the truth. Talking a lot doesn’t mean effective communication.

Unlike popular belief, extroverts have no advantage over introverts when it comes to speaking. Like the way you learned to read and write, effective speaking means you acquire the skill set and practice it.

2. “My child is a horrible communicator. He/She doesn’t talk much”.

The first rule of public speaking is that ‘lot’ does not mean ‘effective’. In this knowledge economy, people do not have the time and patience to listen and understand. Our busy lives have significantly reduced our attention spans. As a whole, we listen less than we used to. So, if your child is able to speak effectively and concisely within a short time, he/she is a winner. The important words here are ‘effective’, ‘effective’ and ‘effective’.

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3. “Let them focus on academics now, communication come later”.

It is true that your child can pick up communication skills at any stage in his/her life. Communication is a life skill that requires regular practice. However, when you procrastinate it, your child is losing out on many opportunities in life. Your child is losing the window of opportunity to make it a second nature. Lack of ability to communicate effectively invariably affects the confidence of the child. Imagine the boost in confidence and the increase in opportunities your child would get when he/she could convey their ideas better and persuade and inspire others.

What is the right time for your child to learn public speaking? This is what an expert has to say about this. 

 

4. “Public speaking is all about Speaking”.

There are many school and social situations where your child would need to present and speak. The audience response to a speech depends on many things other than the ‘actual speaking’. This includes delivery, body language, eye contact, the speech craft, engagement with the audience, confident demeanor and managing the fear among others.

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5. “Public speaking is only for a few people who are gifted in it”.

Surveys show that public speaking is the No. 1 fear among a vast majority of people. The truth is, even the greatest orators became great only with practice. Give your child the opportunities to cultivate and practice the skill so that your child could also express his/her ideas to be successful in the field they choose to pursue.

6. “People will notice my child when he/she works hard”.

Competency is not to be underestimated and it can never be replaced. However, people do not have the time to go around and unearth talented people. Public speaking skills enable your child communicate the talents and ideas they have.

After 13 year old Evelyn (name changed for this article) got trained on public speaking skills, she changed from a timid, relatively unknown teenager to a confident student leader. Her teachers and peers started noticing her and hence she stumbled upon opportunities after opportunities. Her parents say her progress was something they could only dream about earlier. According to them, the boost in confidence she got  from her public speaking skills reflected in her academic skills as well. She got promoted from standard stream to express stream at school and got a scholarship.

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7. “Public Speaking = Show n Tell”.

Many kids learn and do ‘Show n tell’. At a very young age, show n tell helps kids to build up the confidence to stand up and say a few sentences about a ‘prop’ in front of a small audience. However, public speaking skills go much beyond gathering that initial confidence. Public speaking involves many strategies and frameworks that will help your child to speak express themselves well without the help of a ‘prop’.

8. “My child does not want to be a public speaker. She/He has other plans about the future”.

The truth is, we all speak in public. Public speaking is much more standing in front of 200 people. Public speaking happens when you go to that shop and tries to struck up a conversation with the salesman. It happens when you speak to the officer at the airline terminal hoping for an upgrade. It happens when you speak about your ideas for the group project, a family vacation or when you go for an intern interview. Isn’t it useful if you know how to effectively handle these situations?

9. “My child is a great public speaker because he/she has already attended a public speaking class”.

Public speaking is a life skill. Like in the case of other life skills, the best way to master it is to practice. If your child has attended a public speaking class where they have picked up strategies and frameworks and they know how to use that, it is great. Find opportunities for them to practice the skills. It could be a family function, an opportunity at their school or a community event. Does your child’s coach provide ongoing practice opportunities that will enable your child to practice the skills until it become their second nature?

Would you like to improve your child’s public speaking skills? Read some tips on public speaking here. You can find more tips from experts here.

Share this article with your friends and colleagues, so that they too are aware of this amidst their busy schedules. 

Do you have any insights or tips that you use? Would you like to share that? Please use the comments section below and let us know!

Junior Public Speaking & Confidence Building Workshop

Public Speaking for children Singapore

The Kidz Parade Magazine 

Are you looking for a special present for an adorable child? Why don’t you give a present that will leave a lifetime positive impact? When you give The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine as a present, you are opening the door to a world of Creativity and Communication. NEW POSTER 6 copy

Public Speaking Camp

public speaking for children Singapore

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Junior Champs Leadership Camp

 Junior Champs Leadership Camp

Public Speaking for children

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Public Speaking Camp

About Sindu Sreebhavan

Sindu Sreebhavan is the founder of As Many Minds Minds Pte Ltd and the chief editor of The Kidz Parade Edutainment magazine, Asia's premium publication for cultivating creativity and creative writing in children. Sindu is also the founder of International Youth Leadership and Innovation Forum (IYLIF). With a passion to infuse innovation in education and inject innovative mindset in people, Sindu writes, speaks and consults on innovation and creativity in business and education. She says innovation does not start with invention, it starts with a mindset. “The best gift you can give a child is the power of Confidence, Creativity and Communication” is her tagline. She is passionate about educating educators, parents and children about youth development, youth leadership, education innovation and 21st century education. She supports children, parents, schools and several organisations in these areas.

Bullying: 10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child

“They dumped a can of insects on me… and I thought they were my friends”, 17 year old Tanya (name changed for this article) told me bravely while I shuddered on hearing that. She was a survivor of bullying. Today she is a confident teenager who is active in debating, theatre and writing. But, not many people know about the baggage she carries from the days she got badly bullied – the panic attacks. Surveys show 1 out of 3 children in the age group 7-14 get bullied and it can be very scary. Many parents wonder what can they do to protect their child from bullying.

Bullying could leave kids with short term and long term side effects. It could be physical or psychological. It could happen at any age from kindergarteners to adults. So, something has to be done about it! Here, there are 10 tips that you can utilize to protect and support your child in the fight against bullying.

1. Keep your communication channels open

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

Many studies have come up with the finding that more than anything else, kids are looking for someone to talk to when they get bullied. Signe Whitson, the author of the  8 Keys to End Bullying: Strategies for Parents & Schools and Friendship & Other Weapons: Group Activities to Help Young Girls Ages 5-11 to Cope with Bullying says “Encourage your child to tell trustworthy adults about any instances of bully behavior, either in his own life or that he sees occurring with a peer.”

Does your child feel comfortable enough to share excerpts from their life with you? When your child is able to share their mistakes and shortcomings with you without being criticized, you are helping them to develop their trust in you. Develop this trust as early as you can so that they will let you be in their life when they most need you.

2. Involve your child in finding a solution to the situation

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

Even after suffering bullying for a few years, Tanya’s parents did not know what she was going through. “I have a very supportive family. I talked to them after getting bullied for the first time, they went to school and spoke with the teachers about it. This is what many parents do. But, in my case, it backfired. The bullies retaliated and took revenge on me. I was young and I was scared. To protect myself from further retaliation by the bullies, I hid every such incident from my family thereafter.”

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Your child is not always looking for your direct involvement in the event of bullying. Many a times, what they need is your tips and unconditional support in handling the situation. Discuss your plan with your child, incorporate their suggestions and tackle it together. Your support will give them the strength to handle the situation with confidence. This will develop their self-confidence to handle similar situations in the future.

3. Help your child feel proud of their strengths

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

I spoke to a group of 10-11 year old boys about their observations on bullying, during a workshop. They said they see bullying more on a verbal level than on a physical level when it starts. Usually it starts in the form of teasing. The topics of ridicule vary from appearance, learning difficulties, speaking styles, unique strengths and many more.

In Tanya’s case, the bullying had started when her friends came to know about her learning difficulty.

Diversity is becoming the way of life. People come from different backgrounds with various skills and abilities. Being able to understand and respect people different from themselves will pave your child’s way towards acceptance by others.

Rather than your child feeling embarrassed about their shortcomings and loosing confidence, focus on boosting your child’s confidence by giving opportunities to showcase and excel in their talents. With this you are not only protecting your child from bullying, you are also empowering them to protect themselves.

4. When friends become bullies, what can you do to protect your child from bullying?

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

Many a times, you will come across friends turning bullies. This is what happened to Jay (name changed for this article); even he didn’t realize he was getting bullied. It started with his friend Nate (name changed for this article) pushing him into a swimming pool one day. Jay insisted to his parents that his friend did it unintentionally. Over the years, many such incidents happened which, Jay convinced his parents, were not intentional bulling. Finally, one day when Nate teamed up with another bully and kicked Jay, Jay realized how his good heartedness was taken for granted.

Teach your child what real friendship is. If your child needs to make unreasonable sacrifices or suffer insensitive ridicules from their friends, perhaps it is not a friendship worth investing in.

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5. When the bullied becomes the bully

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

If your child is a survivor of bullying, there are two things that you need to check:

  1. Your child continues to remain safe and confident
  2. Your child is not bullying anyone.

Tanya told me she had developed a tendency to bully others once she learned how to stand up to the bullies. She said, “I am not sure why I started doing that. Perhaps I wanted to show my ex-bullies that I am strong and bold and they can’t touch me any more.” Luckily in her case, she realized her mistake at a very early stage and was able to nip it successfully.

In another bullying incident I witnessed, the mom of the bully could not believe her son had bullied. She said, “My son always used to be at the receiving end of bullying. I don’t believe he can bully others.”

When you instil confidence in your bullied child, ensure that they are developing confidence not arrogance. This is essential in protecting your child from bullying as well as protecting them from becoming bullies.

6. Does your child show bullying tendencies?

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

Many children may not understand some of their actions are bullying in nature. If your child is showing bullying tendencies, make them understand the effects of their behavior.

Bullying is all about power. Some kids turn to bullying or hang around with bullies to avoid being victims themselves. Bullies feel the world treat them unfairly. So they need help as well.

One mom told me it is better for her child to bully than be bullied. Bullying is not a childhood behavioural pattern that vanishes once the child gets into adulthood. If you do not nip bullying in the bud, it turns into other serious forms of aggression as the child grows up.

If you see your child speaking or behaving in a negative way, your child needs to explicitly hear from you it is unacceptable.

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7. Not all disagreements are bullying

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

Children are developing their social skills during their school years. Give them opportunities to express their viewpoints. Let them understand it is ok to have a opinion different from others. The difference between disagreements and disputes is in the way opinions are expressed.

Help your child to develop their communication skills. This will prepare them to express their viewpoints effectively and to respond to other people’s viewpoints in the right way. Teaching effective communication skills are a major part of protecting your child from bullying.

However, if you observe repeated harassment, physical or psychological in nature, it is bullying.

8. Help your child’s school address bullying effectively

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

Encourage your school to develop policies regarding bullying. Work with your child’s school to support your child with protection against retaliation.

9. Get professional help if needed

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying from bullying

Tanya’s parents came to know about her problems at a late stage. At that stage, they took her to a counselor and later relocated to another city. If you think your child is in a very difficult situation, get professional help.

10. Report to law enforcement officials, if you suspect something serious is going on

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

We have read and heard about many unfortunate incidents related to bullying. If you think the mental or physical harassment your child is facing is criminal in nature, do not hesitate to contact the law enforcement officials. After all, there is nothing worthier than your child’s life. So, protect your child from bullying.

Share this article with your friends and colleagues, so that they too are aware of this amidst their busy schedules. 

Do you have any insights or tips that you use? Would you like to share that? Please use the comments section below and let us know!

Junior Public Speaking & Confidence Building Workshop

Public Speaking for children Singapore

The Kidz Parade Magazine 

Are you looking for a special present for an adorable child? Why don’t you give a present that will leave a lifetime positive impact? When you give The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine as a present, you are opening the door to a world of Creativity and Communication. NEW POSTER 6 copy

Public Speaking Camp

public speaking for children Singapore

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Junior Champs Leadership Camp

 Junior Champs Leadership Camp

Public Speaking for children

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Public Speaking Camp

About Sindu Sreebhavan

Sindu Sreebhavan is the founder of As Many Minds Minds Pte Ltd and the chief editor of The Kidz Parade Edutainment magazine, Asia's premium publication for cultivating creativity and creative writing in children. Sindu is also the founder of International Youth Leadership and Innovation Forum (IYLIF). With a passion to infuse innovation in education and inject innovative mindset in people, Sindu writes, speaks and consults on innovation and creativity in business and education. She says innovation does not start with invention, it starts with a mindset. “The best gift you can give a child is the power of Confidence, Creativity and Communication” is her tagline. She is passionate about educating educators, parents and children about youth development, youth leadership, education innovation and 21st century education. She supports children, parents, schools and several organisations in these areas.

Be patient with the ‘Why’s and the ‘How’s coming out from curious minds

Creativity has been a buzzword for a decade. Before creativity was deemed as important, parents had no idea where to look for information. Today, there is so much information available that parents now have no idea where to begin to satisfy the young curious minds! As a primer to creativity, it is worth taking time to separate the wheat from the chaff – what is creativity and more importantly, what isn’t creativity.

Mention the words “Creative Genius” and most people would think of a lone mathematical genius toiling away at some mathematical proof, or a gifted writer who receives a spark of inspiration and proceeds to write the next New York Times bestseller. Neither of these misconceptions do justice to what creativity really is – a skill. More importantly, a skill that, given the right investment of time and effort, can be strengthened.

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Creative people are curious minds and do not develop their ideas in a vacuum

They pay attention to their surroundings and are intrigued by what they observe. George de Mestral, a Swiss electrical engineer by training, exemplifies this curiosity and attention to detail. After he had returned from a hunting trip with his dog, his curious mind became intrigued by the burrs that were stuck onto the dog’s coat. Examining them under the microscope, the engineer noted hundreds of “hooks” that caught on anything with a loop. This eventually gave him the idea for an invention that everyone is familiar with today – Velcro.

Children are naturally curious and this curiosity should be encouraged

However, the same child-like wonder that led to the invention of Velcro is also the bane of many parents. All too often, parents get irritated by their child’s incessant “whys” and their ire gradually tells children to stop asking so many questions. Next time, if you find yourself on the receiving end of your child’s curiosity, encourage him or her to find the answers. Better yet, make it a bonding activity where the both of you can try to find the answer together. You may not always get a totally satisfactory answer for the curious minds of your child or yours every time, nor would the answer definitely lead to a new innovation. However, the message that is sent to the child is very important: keep taking in the details around you, and never stop being curious.

Share this article with your friends and colleagues, so that they too are aware of this amidst their busy schedules. 

Do you have any insights or tips that you use? Would you like to share that? Please use the comments section below and let us know!

Junior Public Speaking & Confidence Building Workshop

Public Speaking for children Singapore

The Kidz Parade Magazine 

Are you looking for a special present for an adorable child? Why don’t you give a present that will leave a lifetime positive impact? When you give The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine as a present, you are opening the door to a world of Creativity and Communication. NEW POSTER 6 copy

Public Speaking Camp

public speaking for children Singapore

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Junior Champs Leadership Camp

 Junior Champs Leadership Camp

Public Speaking for children

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Public Speaking Camp

About AMM Research

As Many Minds Research Team www.AsManyMinds.com

Shyness: 5 effective ways to help your child overcome shyness

Half of all adults think of themselves as shy, and many more say that they were shy as children. Shyness keeps children from learning social skills, trying new things, visiting new places or may prevent them from being a part of a group. Shyness also causes children to have a hard time relaxing and connecting with others. The good news is that it is possible to help your child overcome shyness.

Learning soft skills help child to be successful as an adult. They just need a little extra support and encouragement to boost their courage.

Here are some tips that will help kids in dealing with shyness:

1. Help them to be sociable

effective ways to help your child overcome shyness

Find ways to join group activities with other children and adults. Getting involved in group activities helps your child to be sociable with others.

2. Guide them to solve their own problems and make their own decisions

effective ways to help your child overcome shyness

Taking responsibility for solving problem increase their self-esteem and confidence. This will help your child tremendously when they deal with their shyness.

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3. Help them to find their strengths

effective ways to help your child overcome shyness

Being able to find their own strengths will boost your child’s natural self-esteem and ego. They will better identify with themselves. This will give your child the confidence to break self-imposed barriers of fear.

4. Face your fear in communication

Effective ways to help your child overcome shyness

If you have a fear in communicating with others, the natural tendency is to run away from the situation. Teach your child to curb that tendency, take a break and deal with situations where communication is needed. For example, help them to plan a short conversation piece and practice it to use in situations where they need to communicate with others.

5. Adult support is of paramount importance when helping kids to overcome their shyness. Understand their needs and support them throughout the process in trying out these tips. It may take time, but your effort and patience is worth the wait.

This article first appeared in The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine.

Share this article with your friends and colleagues, so that they too are aware of this amidst their busy schedules. 

Do you have any insights or tips that you use? Would you like to share that? Please use the comments section below and let us know!

Junior Public Speaking & Confidence Building Workshop

Public Speaking for children Singapore

The Kidz Parade Magazine 

Are you looking for a special present for an adorable child? Why don’t you give a present that will leave a lifetime positive impact? When you give The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine as a present, you are opening the door to a world of Creativity and Communication. NEW POSTER 6 copy

Public Speaking Camp

public speaking for children Singapore

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Junior Champs Leadership Camp

 Junior Champs Leadership Camp

Public Speaking for children

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Public Speaking Camp

About Vinti Mittal

Vinti Mittal is a professional Counsellor with a Post Graduate Diploma and a Master's in Counselling from Monash University. For the past 6 years, Vinti has been providing counselling support to preschool children, pre-teens, teens and adults on various issues. She counsels on stress, anger, anxiety, confidence, self-esteem, body image, depression, social skills, grief and academics. She has also been helping parents deal with their own issues relating to martial conflicts, divorce, etc. She strongly believes in using the concept of Early Intervention when working with very young children. Early Intervention enhances the overall growth and development of the child, which in turn improves the functioning of the family. She has extensive experience in dealing with children coming from different environments as well as school systems. She has been living and working in Asia and the Middle East for the past 15 years. Singapore became her home for the last 10 years. She works with both Singaporeans and expatriates from all over the world. Vinti is well versed in English, Hindi and Bahasa Indonesia.

Confident Child: Top 3 things every parent needs to do to create a confidence boosting culture at home

The discussion on whether confidence is nature or nurture has been around since a long time. When it comes to parenting, it always opens up many other questions. When a confident child finding more opportunities, many parents wonder what can they do to make their child too more confident.

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” – Maya Angelou.

Are today’s kids really keeping more and more to themselves? Are kids today really less confident than they used to be? Is technology keeping kids away from human interactions? While it is easy to find conflicting arguments on these topics from various sources, there is no controversy in the fact that self-confidence is an important key to success. The more opportunities a child receives to get involved in dealing with people and managing situations, the better their self-confidence develops. Many parents wonder how they can set conditions at home so that their kids acquire the independence to build their competence and boost their confidence.

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The good news about self-confidence is that it is something that can be nurtured, nourished and boosted with right guidance and preparation. Here we have some tips you can follow on a day-to-day basis to boost your child’s confidence to prepare your child to take up the challenges of life. Select one activity from each of the below areas every day and observe how a confident child emerges and spreads their wings.

1. Ignite Curiosity

Confident child

Children are born curious. Curious minds gather a lot of knowledge. They get immense confidence from the various ways they amass their knowledge. However, the aggressive demands of today’s school system put a detrimental effect to their curiosity. A major part of their curiosity diminishes as they progress through school. Only a few manage to keep the streaks of curiosity alive amidst the pressures of the school system. But, you can help them still be in touch with their curious self.

I. Do simple science experiments at home: This is a good way to make kids wonder about things around.

II. Discuss your family history with your child: What is more interesting than getting curious about one’s own self?

III. Ask them ‘What if…’ and ‘Do you know…’ questions.

2. Promote Creativity

Confident child

According to a survey by IBM of over 1500 CEOs, Creativity is one of the most important skills required to be successful in the 21st century. Contrary to popular belief, creativity can be taught and nurtured. These are some easy to follow activities that you can do at home to engage your child’s creative side. When you acknowledge your child’s creativity, give opportunities to express that creativity and show willingness to discuss about it, you will see him/her developing into a confident child.

I. Make your own story: Make a story from a picture, with your child. To make the best out of it, set aside a family time slot for ‘When a picture tells a story’. You  can refer to The Kidz Parade magazine (download 2 free issues here) for pictures of this category.

II. Allow your child to read for pleasure: Reading helps your child to visualize a situation. It helps in igniting creative sparks in them. They will feel tempted to discuss about their creativity. More communication could pave the way towards a more confident child.

III. Show enthusiasm to appreciate your child’s ideas: But, keep in mind that creativity is not just ideation. It is also about taking action to implement these ideas. Showing interest in their ideas and providing motivation in trying out some those ideas are the best encouragement you can provide to boost their creative confidence. An increased creative confidence could lead towards a more confident child.

IV. Brainstorm together on topics related to your family: What will you do on the weekend, should you you have a TV-free day, what should you cook for dinner… the topics are unlimited.

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3. Provide Inspiration

Confident Child

People tend to look at inspirations as benchmarks and when you have benchmarks, you try to achieve as great or better than that. There are many ways you can develop the habit in your kids to look out for inspiration.

I. Encourage your child to express their viewpoints: Make opportunities for them to communicate their opinions about their experiences, observations and aspirations.

II. Teach your child to learn from mistakes: We have heard this many times.  But, it never loses its magic touch. Discuss a time when you failed, but took up the challenge and succeeded.

III. Bring your child’s attention to the achievements of people they can relate to: Provide your child with opportunities to feel “If they can do it, I can also do it”. Inspiration need not always come from a famous person. Kids get more inspired by the achievements of their peers. Discuss with them how your peers inspire you.

IV. Provide them with opportunities to make changes in their society: You blame our academic system or their age or the human nature, but most children build limits to their ability to make a difference in this world. What if they start a club to stand for a cause they are passionate about? It could be as simple as a nature club they start at your home with their best friend.

The children will eventually grow up, figure out how to live their lives and they will spread their wings. How well they will spread their wings depends mainly on the unconditional love and the opportunities for confidence building they experience now.

Share this article with your friends and colleagues, so that they too are aware of this amidst their busy schedules. 

Do you have any insights or tips that you use? Would you like to share that? Please use the comments section below and let us know!

Junior Public Speaking & Confidence Building Workshop

Public Speaking for children Singapore

The Kidz Parade Magazine 

Are you looking for a special present for an adorable child? Why don’t you give a present that will leave a lifetime positive impact? When you give The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine as a present, you are opening the door to a world of Creativity and Communication. NEW POSTER 6 copy

Public Speaking Camp

public speaking for children Singapore

You might also be interested in Junior Public Speaking & Confidence Building Workshop Testimonials Confidence Hub Junior Champs Leadership Camp

 Junior Champs Leadership Camp

Public Speaking for children

You might also be interested in Junior Public Speaking & Confidence Building Workshop Testimonials Confidence Hub Public Speaking Camp

About Sindu Sreebhavan

Sindu Sreebhavan is the founder of As Many Minds Minds Pte Ltd and the chief editor of The Kidz Parade Edutainment magazine, Asia's premium publication for cultivating creativity and creative writing in children. Sindu is also the founder of International Youth Leadership and Innovation Forum (IYLIF). With a passion to infuse innovation in education and inject innovative mindset in people, Sindu writes, speaks and consults on innovation and creativity in business and education. She says innovation does not start with invention, it starts with a mindset. “The best gift you can give a child is the power of Confidence, Creativity and Communication” is her tagline. She is passionate about educating educators, parents and children about youth development, youth leadership, education innovation and 21st century education. She supports children, parents, schools and several organisations in these areas.