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Bullying: 10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child

“They dumped a can of insects on me… and I thought they were my friends”, 17 year old Tanya (name changed for this article) told me bravely while I shuddered on hearing that. She was a survivor of bullying. Today she is a confident teenager who is active in debating, theatre and writing. But, not many people know about the baggage she carries from the days she got badly bullied – the panic attacks. Surveys show 1 out of 3 children in the age group 7-14 get bullied and it can be very scary. Many parents wonder what can they do to protect their child from bullying.

Bullying could leave kids with short term and long term side effects. It could be physical or psychological. It could happen at any age from kindergarteners to adults. So, something has to be done about it! Here, there are 10 tips that you can utilize to protect and support your child in the fight against bullying.

1. Keep your communication channels open

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

Many studies have come up with the finding that more than anything else, kids are looking for someone to talk to when they get bullied. Signe Whitson, the author of the  8 Keys to End Bullying: Strategies for Parents & Schools and Friendship & Other Weapons: Group Activities to Help Young Girls Ages 5-11 to Cope with Bullying says “Encourage your child to tell trustworthy adults about any instances of bully behavior, either in his own life or that he sees occurring with a peer.”

Does your child feel comfortable enough to share excerpts from their life with you? When your child is able to share their mistakes and shortcomings with you without being criticized, you are helping them to develop their trust in you. Develop this trust as early as you can so that they will let you be in their life when they most need you.

2. Involve your child in finding a solution to the situation

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

Even after suffering bullying for a few years, Tanya’s parents did not know what she was going through. “I have a very supportive family. I talked to them after getting bullied for the first time, they went to school and spoke with the teachers about it. This is what many parents do. But, in my case, it backfired. The bullies retaliated and took revenge on me. I was young and I was scared. To protect myself from further retaliation by the bullies, I hid every such incident from my family thereafter.”

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Your child is not always looking for your direct involvement in the event of bullying. Many a times, what they need is your tips and unconditional support in handling the situation. Discuss your plan with your child, incorporate their suggestions and tackle it together. Your support will give them the strength to handle the situation with confidence. This will develop their self-confidence to handle similar situations in the future.

3. Help your child feel proud of their strengths

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

I spoke to a group of 10-11 year old boys about their observations on bullying, during a workshop. They said they see bullying more on a verbal level than on a physical level when it starts. Usually it starts in the form of teasing. The topics of ridicule vary from appearance, learning difficulties, speaking styles, unique strengths and many more.

In Tanya’s case, the bullying had started when her friends came to know about her learning difficulty.

Diversity is becoming the way of life. People come from different backgrounds with various skills and abilities. Being able to understand and respect people different from themselves will pave your child’s way towards acceptance by others.

Rather than your child feeling embarrassed about their shortcomings and loosing confidence, focus on boosting your child’s confidence by giving opportunities to showcase and excel in their talents. With this you are not only protecting your child from bullying, you are also empowering them to protect themselves.

4. When friends become bullies, what can you do to protect your child from bullying?

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

Many a times, you will come across friends turning bullies. This is what happened to Jay (name changed for this article); even he didn’t realize he was getting bullied. It started with his friend Nate (name changed for this article) pushing him into a swimming pool one day. Jay insisted to his parents that his friend did it unintentionally. Over the years, many such incidents happened which, Jay convinced his parents, were not intentional bulling. Finally, one day when Nate teamed up with another bully and kicked Jay, Jay realized how his good heartedness was taken for granted.

Teach your child what real friendship is. If your child needs to make unreasonable sacrifices or suffer insensitive ridicules from their friends, perhaps it is not a friendship worth investing in.

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5. When the bullied becomes the bully

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

If your child is a survivor of bullying, there are two things that you need to check:

  1. Your child continues to remain safe and confident
  2. Your child is not bullying anyone.

Tanya told me she had developed a tendency to bully others once she learned how to stand up to the bullies. She said, “I am not sure why I started doing that. Perhaps I wanted to show my ex-bullies that I am strong and bold and they can’t touch me any more.” Luckily in her case, she realized her mistake at a very early stage and was able to nip it successfully.

In another bullying incident I witnessed, the mom of the bully could not believe her son had bullied. She said, “My son always used to be at the receiving end of bullying. I don’t believe he can bully others.”

When you instil confidence in your bullied child, ensure that they are developing confidence not arrogance. This is essential in protecting your child from bullying as well as protecting them from becoming bullies.

6. Does your child show bullying tendencies?

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

Many children may not understand some of their actions are bullying in nature. If your child is showing bullying tendencies, make them understand the effects of their behavior.

Bullying is all about power. Some kids turn to bullying or hang around with bullies to avoid being victims themselves. Bullies feel the world treat them unfairly. So they need help as well.

One mom told me it is better for her child to bully than be bullied. Bullying is not a childhood behavioural pattern that vanishes once the child gets into adulthood. If you do not nip bullying in the bud, it turns into other serious forms of aggression as the child grows up.

If you see your child speaking or behaving in a negative way, your child needs to explicitly hear from you it is unacceptable.

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7. Not all disagreements are bullying

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

Children are developing their social skills during their school years. Give them opportunities to express their viewpoints. Let them understand it is ok to have a opinion different from others. The difference between disagreements and disputes is in the way opinions are expressed.

Help your child to develop their communication skills. This will prepare them to express their viewpoints effectively and to respond to other people’s viewpoints in the right way. Teaching effective communication skills are a major part of protecting your child from bullying.

However, if you observe repeated harassment, physical or psychological in nature, it is bullying.

8. Help your child’s school address bullying effectively

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

Encourage your school to develop policies regarding bullying. Work with your child’s school to support your child with protection against retaliation.

9. Get professional help if needed

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying from bullying

Tanya’s parents came to know about her problems at a late stage. At that stage, they took her to a counselor and later relocated to another city. If you think your child is in a very difficult situation, get professional help.

10. Report to law enforcement officials, if you suspect something serious is going on

10 Things Every Parent Needs To Know To Protect Their Child from bullying

We have read and heard about many unfortunate incidents related to bullying. If you think the mental or physical harassment your child is facing is criminal in nature, do not hesitate to contact the law enforcement officials. After all, there is nothing worthier than your child’s life. So, protect your child from bullying.

Share this article with your friends and colleagues, so that they too are aware of this amidst their busy schedules. 

Do you have any insights or tips that you use? Would you like to share that? Please use the comments section below and let us know!

Public Speaking Camp designed by the World Champion of Public Speaking

Public Speaking for children Singapore

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The Kidz Parade Magazine 

Are you looking for a special present for an adorable child? Why don’t you give a present that will leave a lifetime positive impact? When you give The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine as a present, you are opening the door to a world of Creativity and Communication.

NEW POSTER 6 copy

About Sindu Sreebhavan

Sindu Sreebhavan is the founder of As Many Minds Minds Pte Ltd and the founding Chief Editor of The Kidz Parade Edutainment magazine, Asia's premium publication for cultivating creativity and creative writing in children. Sindu is also the founder and the Chairperson of International Youth Leadership and Innovation Forum (IYLIF). Sindu is the author of 'Infinite Possibilities' and the lead co-author of Amazon bestseller 'Breakthrough'. With a passion to infuse innovation in education and inject growth mindset and innovative mindset in people and organisations, Sindu writes, speaks and consults on innovation and creativity in business and education. She says innovation does not start with invention, it starts with a mindset. “The best gift you can give a child is the power of Confidence, Creativity and Communication” is her tagline. She is passionate about educating educators, parents and children about youth development, youth leadership, education innovation and 21st century education. She supports children, parents, schools and several organisations in these areas.

Be patient with the ‘Why’s and the ‘How’s coming out from curious minds

Creativity has been a buzzword for a decade. Before creativity was deemed as important, parents had no idea where to look for information. Today, there is so much information available that parents now have no idea where to begin to satisfy the young curious minds! As a primer to creativity, it is worth taking time to separate the wheat from the chaff – what is creativity and more importantly, what isn’t creativity.

Mention the words “Creative Genius” and most people would think of a lone mathematical genius toiling away at some mathematical proof, or a gifted writer who receives a spark of inspiration and proceeds to write the next New York Times bestseller. Neither of these misconceptions do justice to what creativity really is – a skill. More importantly, a skill that, given the right investment of time and effort, can be strengthened.

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Creative people are curious minds and do not develop their ideas in a vacuum

They pay attention to their surroundings and are intrigued by what they observe. George de Mestral, a Swiss electrical engineer by training, exemplifies this curiosity and attention to detail. After he had returned from a hunting trip with his dog, his curious mind became intrigued by the burrs that were stuck onto the dog’s coat. Examining them under the microscope, the engineer noted hundreds of “hooks” that caught on anything with a loop. This eventually gave him the idea for an invention that everyone is familiar with today – Velcro.

Children are naturally curious and this curiosity should be encouraged

However, the same child-like wonder that led to the invention of Velcro is also the bane of many parents. All too often, parents get irritated by their child’s incessant “whys” and their ire gradually tells children to stop asking so many questions. Next time, if you find yourself on the receiving end of your child’s curiosity, encourage him or her to find the answers. Better yet, make it a bonding activity where the both of you can try to find the answer together. You may not always get a totally satisfactory answer for the curious minds of your child or yours every time, nor would the answer definitely lead to a new innovation. However, the message that is sent to the child is very important: keep taking in the details around you, and never stop being curious.

Share this article with your friends and colleagues, so that they too are aware of this amidst their busy schedules. 

Do you have any insights or tips that you use? Would you like to share that? Please use the comments section below and let us know!

Public Speaking Camp designed by the World Champion of Public Speaking

Public Speaking for children Singapore

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Junior Champs Leadership Camp Growth Mindset Camp Thinkers Unlimited Design Thinking  Camp

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You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Public Speaking Camp Growth Mindset Camp Thinkers Unlimited Design Thinking  Camp

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Junior Public Speaking & Confidence Building Workshop designed by the World Champion of Public Speaking

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You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Public Speaking Camp Growth Mindset Camp Thinkers Unlimited Design Thinking  Camp

The Kidz Parade Magazine 

Are you looking for a special present for an adorable child? Why don’t you give a present that will leave a lifetime positive impact? When you give The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine as a present, you are opening the door to a world of Creativity and Communication.

NEW POSTER 6 copy

About AMM Research

As Many Minds Research Team www.AsManyMinds.com

Shyness: 5 effective ways to help your child overcome shyness

Half of all adults think of themselves as shy, and many more say that they were shy as children. Shyness keeps children from learning social skills, trying new things, visiting new places or may prevent them from being a part of a group. Shyness also causes children to have a hard time relaxing and connecting with others. The good news is that it is possible to help your child overcome shyness.

Learning soft skills help child to be successful as an adult. They just need a little extra support and encouragement to boost their courage.

Here are some tips that will help kids in dealing with shyness:

1. Help them to be sociable

effective ways to help your child overcome shyness

Find ways to join group activities with other children and adults. Getting involved in group activities helps your child to be sociable with others.

2. Guide them to solve their own problems and make their own decisions

effective ways to help your child overcome shyness

Taking responsibility for solving problem increase their self-esteem and confidence. This will help your child tremendously when they deal with their shyness.

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3. Help them to find their strengths

effective ways to help your child overcome shyness

Being able to find their own strengths will boost your child’s natural self-esteem and ego. They will better identify with themselves. This will give your child the confidence to break self-imposed barriers of fear.

4. Face your fear in communication

Effective ways to help your child overcome shyness

If you have a fear in communicating with others, the natural tendency is to run away from the situation. Teach your child to curb that tendency, take a break and deal with situations where communication is needed. For example, help them to plan a short conversation piece and practice it to use in situations where they need to communicate with others.

5. Adult support is of paramount importance when helping kids to overcome their shyness. Understand their needs and support them throughout the process in trying out these tips. It may take time, but your effort and patience is worth the wait.

This article first appeared in The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine.

Share this article with your friends and colleagues, so that they too are aware of this amidst their busy schedules. 

Do you have any insights or tips that you use? Would you like to share that? Please use the comments section below and let us know!

Public Speaking Camp designed by the World Champion of Public Speaking

Public Speaking for children Singapore

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Junior Champs Leadership Camp Growth Mindset Camp Thinkers Unlimited Design Thinking  Camp

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Design Thinking Singapore

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Growth Mindset Workshop Singapore

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Junior Public Speaking & Confidence Building Workshop designed by the World Champion of Public Speaking

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You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Public Speaking Camp Growth Mindset Camp Thinkers Unlimited Design Thinking  Camp

The Kidz Parade Magazine 

Are you looking for a special present for an adorable child? Why don’t you give a present that will leave a lifetime positive impact? When you give The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine as a present, you are opening the door to a world of Creativity and Communication.

NEW POSTER 6 copy

About Vinti Mittal

Vinti Mittal is a professional Counsellor with a Post Graduate Diploma and a Master's in Counselling from Monash University. For the past 6 years, Vinti has been providing counselling support to preschool children, pre-teens, teens and adults on various issues. She counsels on stress, anger, anxiety, confidence, self-esteem, body image, depression, social skills, grief and academics. She has also been helping parents deal with their own issues relating to martial conflicts, divorce, etc. She strongly believes in using the concept of Early Intervention when working with very young children. Early Intervention enhances the overall growth and development of the child, which in turn improves the functioning of the family. She has extensive experience in dealing with children coming from different environments as well as school systems. She has been living and working in Asia and the Middle East for the past 15 years. Singapore became her home for the last 10 years. She works with both Singaporeans and expatriates from all over the world. Vinti is well versed in English, Hindi and Bahasa Indonesia.

Confident Child: Top 3 things every parent needs to do to create a confidence boosting culture at home

The discussion on whether confidence is nature or nurture has been around since a long time. When it comes to parenting, it always opens up many other questions. When a confident child find more opportunities, many parents wonder what can they do to make their child too more confident.

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” – Maya Angelou.

Are today’s kids really keeping more and more to themselves? Are kids today really less confident than they used to be? Is technology keeping kids away from human interactions?

While it is easy to find conflicting arguments on these topics from various sources, there is no controversy in the fact that self-confidence is an important key to success. The more opportunities a child receives, to deal with people and manage situations, the better their self-confidence develops. Many parents wonder how they can set conditions at home so that their children acquire the skills to build their competence and boost their confidence.

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The good news about self-confidence is that it is something that can be nurtured, nourished and boosted with right guidance and preparation. Here we have some tips you can follow on a day-to-day basis to boost your child’s confidence to prepare your child to take up the challenges of life. Select one activity from each of the below areas every day and observe how a confident child emerges and spreads their wings.

1. Ignite Curiosity

Confident child

Children are born curious. Their curious minds are like sponges, they can absorb a lot of knowledge. They get immense confidence from the various ways they amass their knowledge. However, the aggressive demands of today’s school system put a detrimental effect to their curiosity. A major part of their curiosity diminishes as they progress through school. Only a few manage to keep the streaks of curiosity alive amidst the pressures of the school system. But, you can help them still be in touch with their curious self.

I. Do simple science experiments at home: This is a good way to make kids wonder about things around.

II. Discuss your family history with your child: What is more interesting than getting curious about one’s own self?

III. Ask them ‘What if…’ and ‘Do you know…’ questions.

2. Promote Creativity

Confident child

According to a survey by IBM of over 1500 CEOs, Creativity is one of the most important skills required to be successful in the 21st century. Contrary to popular belief, creativity can be taught and nurtured. These are some easy to follow activities that you can do at home to engage your child’s creative confidence. When you acknowledge your child’s creativity, give opportunities to express that creativity and show willingness to discuss about it, you will see him/her developing into a confident child.

I. Make your own story: Make a story from a picture, with your child. To make the best out of it, set aside a family time slot for ‘When a picture tells a story’. You  can refer to The Kidz Parade magazine (download 2 free issues here) for pictures of this category.

II. Allow your child to read for pleasure: Reading helps your child to visualize a situation. It helps in igniting creative sparks in them. They will feel tempted to discuss about their creativity. More communication could pave the way towards a more confident child.

III. Show enthusiasm to appreciate your child’s ideas: But, keep in mind that creativity is not just ideation. It is also about taking action to implement these ideas. Showing interest in their ideas and providing motivation in trying out some those ideas are the best encouragement you can provide to boost their creative confidence. An increased creative confidence could lead towards a more confident child.

IV. Brainstorm together on topics related to your family: What will you do on the weekend, should you you have a TV-free day, what should you cook for dinner… the topics are unlimited.

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3. Provide Inspiration

Confident Child

People tend to look at inspirations as benchmarks and when you have benchmarks, you try to achieve as great or better than that. There are many ways you can develop the habit in your kids to look out for inspiration.

I. Encourage your child to express their viewpoints: Make opportunities for them to communicate their opinions about their experiences, observations and aspirations.

II. Teach your child to learn from mistakes: We have heard this many times.  But, it never loses its magic touch. Discuss a time when you failed, but took up the challenge and succeeded.

III. Bring your child’s attention to the achievements of people they can relate to: Provide your child with opportunities to feel “If they can do it, I can also do it”. Inspiration need not always come from a famous person. Kids get more inspired by the achievements of their peers. Discuss with them how your peers inspire you.

IV. Provide them with opportunities to make changes in their society: You blame our academic system or their age or the human nature, but most children build limits to their ability to make a difference in this world. What if they start a club to stand for a cause they are passionate about? It could be as simple as a nature club they start at your home with their best friend.

The children will eventually grow up, figure out how to live their lives and they will spread their wings. How well they will spread their wings depends mainly on the unconditional love and the opportunities for confidence building they experience now.

Share this article with your friends and colleagues, so that they too are aware of this amidst their busy schedules. 

Do you have any insights or tips that you use? Would you like to share that? Please use the comments section below and let us know!

Public Speaking Camp designed by the World Champion of Public Speaking

Public Speaking for children Singapore

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Junior Champs Leadership Camp Growth Mindset Camp Thinkers Unlimited Design Thinking  Camp

Junior Champs Leadership Camp designed by the World Champion of Public Speaking

Public Speaking for children

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Public Speaking Camp Growth Mindset Camp Thinkers Unlimited Design Thinking  Camp

Thinkers Unlimited Design Thinking Camp

Design Thinking Singapore

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Public Speaking Camp Growth Mindset Camp Thinkers Unlimited Design Thinking  Camp

Growth Mindset Camp

Growth Mindset Workshop Singapore

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Public Speaking Camp Growth Mindset Camp Thinkers Unlimited Design Thinking  Camp

Junior Public Speaking & Confidence Building Workshop designed by the World Champion of Public Speaking

Public Speaking for children Singapore

You might also be interested in Testimonials Confidence Hub Public Speaking Camp Growth Mindset Camp Thinkers Unlimited Design Thinking  Camp

The Kidz Parade Magazine 

Are you looking for a special present for an adorable child? Why don’t you give a present that will leave a lifetime positive impact? When you give The Kidz Parade Edutainment Magazine as a present, you are opening the door to a world of Creativity and Communication.

NEW POSTER 6 copy

About Sindu Sreebhavan

Sindu Sreebhavan is the founder of As Many Minds Minds Pte Ltd and the founding Chief Editor of The Kidz Parade Edutainment magazine, Asia's premium publication for cultivating creativity and creative writing in children. Sindu is also the founder and the Chairperson of International Youth Leadership and Innovation Forum (IYLIF). Sindu is the author of 'Infinite Possibilities' and the lead co-author of Amazon bestseller 'Breakthrough'. With a passion to infuse innovation in education and inject growth mindset and innovative mindset in people and organisations, Sindu writes, speaks and consults on innovation and creativity in business and education. She says innovation does not start with invention, it starts with a mindset. “The best gift you can give a child is the power of Confidence, Creativity and Communication” is her tagline. She is passionate about educating educators, parents and children about youth development, youth leadership, education innovation and 21st century education. She supports children, parents, schools and several organisations in these areas.